Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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