Cold hands, warm shart.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
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