just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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