oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
