I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think my moral compass just broke
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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