Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
