I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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