Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
