Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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