Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize