you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize