Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
