Banned from zoo.
Again?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize