I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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