I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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