That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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