Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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