I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
