My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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