she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
