ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
