I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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