I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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