I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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