I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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