My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
is it fun? or sober?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
