That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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