This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
