It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
