Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Oh god it's open bar.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
