Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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