Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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