he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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