I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
