she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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