apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
