We won't sleep together?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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