it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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