i don't like sucking hair
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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