that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
is that a dick in a sweater?
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