Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
