I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
