i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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