Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
At least life still wants to fuck me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
