i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
