I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
