No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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