WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
