are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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