I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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