...so i touched it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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