Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
being pregnant is like rehab
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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