CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
