I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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