Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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