Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
