it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's never too late to be topless.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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