Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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