You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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