Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
