yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
