Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
