Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have tasted many bathrooms
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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