shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
